When A Black Swan Turns White

(Originally posted August 31, 2010) Donors – we all love them, they’re the nice folks who make a sacrifice to help us, keep us healthy and support us as a community. We treat them with respect and even honor them – sometimes we fall in love with them and our relationship moves past that vamp-donor relationship.

Mundane/donor and Vampyre romantic relationships can and do work. They can be very satisfying for both parties. Sometimes though, things go wrong, as they do – and then things begin to fall apart – and regardless of where the fault lies, whether it is due to cheating, jealousy, whatever the reason – sometimes they can do so spectacularly. By that time you’ve already spilled your guts about all things vampyric and you have a blood-bond with someone who essentially hates you, not for being Vampyre, but simply for being you.

And then things start to get nasty. You start getting emails from puzzled friends and colleagues asking about the nasty emails that are being sent to them – outing you for your sanguine habits, among other things. All those private photos of various naughty things you and your ex got up to – things involving feeding – suddenly appear on various websites. Your church pastor (whom you haven’t seen in a few years) suddenly phones you to appeal to you to “turn from your sinful ways” – or turns up at your home, accompanied by your parents. Soon, your other donors seem to miss your appointments or can’t be reached.

You start hearing rumors that they are afraid to meet you because they have been told you are abusive and might hurt them, or that you have a blood-borne disease you’re hiding from them and might infect them. In extreme cases, you could find some handsome looking boys in blue uniforms at your front door, inquiring about charges of domestic abuse and violence that have just been laid at the police station. Allegations of assault using sharp instruments having been mentioned, along with documented scarring – you are on the spot. What now?

All’s fair in love and war, honey – guess which this is.

This little scenario should show just how ugly it can get for a vamp if things go wrong, and how trusting we need to be of our donors and partners – particularly so in the case of sang vamps. Unfortunately, we need to feed, and we need donors – so it would seem the solution is to use caution when choosing donors – and extreme caution when considering getting romantically involved with a donor – or when feeding from a romantic partner.

They might not make use of it, they may not seem the type at the time – but they could have you over a barrel any time they want. The ball is in their court, and no mistake.

So what can you do to prevent this sort of problem?

These are just a few suggestions from my side:

1) If you have more than one donor, try not to let each one know the identity or whereabouts of the others. This will prevent them from contacting each other and spreading any nasty rumors.

2) Try not to divulge too much about Vampyre nature or community affairs to your donors. In some cases, the less they know, the better. More than knowing why you have to feed, they don’t really need to know about where vamps meet, our culture or other miscellaneous information that could end up all over your Facebook page when you least expect it.

3) Try not to appear in pictures showing feeding or blood play – these are rather awkward to explain if they end up emailed to your boss, your parents or high school principal, or plastered all over Facebook with your face or name on them. In short, leave as little evidence as possible.

4) The simplest and easiest preventive solution is to always treat donors with kindness, consideration and respect. Put their health and well-being before your need to feed, no matter how much it bites you. It is their prana, their body and harming them is not part of the bargain.

5) The other obvious solution is to not get emotionally or romantically involved with donors. Keep it platonic, focused on the need to feed, supply and demand. Keep it at friendship, receive their gift, and leave it at that.

Obviously, it is your life and I’m not going to tell you how to handle it. Remaining aloof and detached is not always possible, viable, or desirable – but if you keep these points in mind, they should make dealing with any potential fallout a lot easier.

Val

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